Bear with me please I’m having one of those reflective moments. I’m asking myself big questions. Remember the words from Joni Mitchell’s song?

“I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow, it’s life’s illusions I recall. I really don’t know life….at all.”

Have you ever had these moments? You know, when your mind is filled with those really BIG, yet seemingly pointless cliched questions? Like, what on Earth am I actually doing here? … Who am I anyway? … What’s all this relationship stuff, complex diseases, and birth/death/rebirth all about? … Could it all really be just an illusion? … Did I really volunteer for all this?

Humanity is so unbelievably complex. It’s a magnificent, difficult yet magical puzzle. A conundrum, a mystery. In fact I’ll go as far as to say it’s unfathomable. Life itself is wonderful yet we can be so disappointed. It can be magical and yet some of us fail to see the beauty. Why don’t we all understand this human life and the reasons for it? I mean, how many times do you think to yourself why are we actually here? I have lived through a fair portion of it and experienced extremes of human emotion.

I’ve studied life from so many sides, from the religious, the philosophical, the scientific, the psychological, and still my greatest understanding – if I am truly honest – is that from a human perspective the more I understand the more questions there are to be asked, and the less I seem in truth to know. Do any of us really understand it much at all? We all have our theories, and whether they are theological, and reflect our faith, or we take information in based on other people’s outstanding of complex issues and ideas (and some of them are certainly very clever), we don’t really know the truth, do we? After all, these wonderful people are expressing their own notions, their own perceptions and their own truth.

One thing I do know, is that acceptance of ‘not knowing’ the answers can be truly liberating.

One of the greatest advantages of living today is that we are able to access unquantifiable amounts of ideas and theories, explanations, channellings, interpretations and scriptures. All this amazing information technology surrounds us, which is constantly informing and educating those of us who ask questions about other people’s faiths and cultural beliefs. Everyone is an explorer. Everyone has a theory. So many people think they know the answers and many are happy to share them.

Yes, me too. I know so much ‘stuff’. I know that I can certainly help people to gain access to it, as I did, – and yet, if I’m to be absolutely honest, authentic and genuine about my understanding of life, then, hand on heart, the only true understanding, expertise or authority of the facts – as I understand them – has to remain my own truth and no-one else’s .

Only my own story is relevant to me. Other stories are fascinating, and as an empath I can feel it as well as hear it or read the words, but do other peoples stories really help me to understand who I AM, or why I AM here?

It’s true isn’t it? When we search and search deep down into our own sense of knowing – no matter how intelligent or well-educated we might appear to be, we don’t really know much at all.

What I do know, because I have experienced and seen it with my physical as well as inner eyes, is that we have been given angels to help and guide us. They really do exist. I also have a strong belief in God – whoever, or whatever that Source of Love and unfathomable intelligence proves to be.

Like some of my dear friends I’d been collecting beautiful inspiring books, scriptures, commentaries and studies of spirituality for years until I came to the realisation that there may be differences in the way we connect to our personal spiritual impulse. For some (and I include myself in this too) their spiritual journey might be remembering or re-connecting to that which they already know, and feel, as if we are reaching into our inner core – our soul, our true self. Like many of you I seem to know deep down that I have lived many times before. On my journey to the Holy Lands in 2014 I could feel the pull across the water of the Sea of Galilee towards the birth place of Mary Magdalene. I could see and feel moving energies in Capernaum where Jesus had lived with his friends and disciples. As I sat beneath the window of the Last Supper in Jerusalem (with many other like-minded souls) I could feel sadness, betrayal and heart-rending emotion. How? I don’t know really. Is there need of explanation? I guess some of us just do.

In my view it’s important to dig out the seeds of your inspiration – perhaps kept hidden away for too long, or buried deep within your secret self for fear of ridicule or resentment. There are many different ways of fulfilling a spiritual life. Of discovering answers. We are all delightfully unique and it is important that we are allow ourselves the freedom to explore our beliefs more fully, and openly.

Your own truth is too important, too precious to be hidden away, even from yourself.